What to Wear
Try to find out the dress code before you attend, so that you can be sure you’ll dress appropriately. If you aren't sure, simply try to dress in a way that shows respect for the family and other mourners. For men, business casual is usually a safe bet. Women generally wear an outfit that would acceptable in a business setting.
Religious & Ethnic Customs
Traditions and customs differ among various communities, ethnic groups, and religions, and it's often helpful to ask beforehand about any special considerations. We can answer many of your questions and can point you toward resources that offer more information.
What to Say
Express your sympathy in your own words, however it feels right to you. Kind words about the loved one who has passed are always appropriate, and a simple “I'm sorry for your loss” or “My thoughts and prayers are with you” can be meaningful and comforting for the bereaved.
At a service with an open casket, it's customary to show your respect by viewing the deceased and, if you wish, spending a few moments in silent prayer. The family may escort you to the casket, or you might approach on your own. Viewing the deceased is not mandatory, however, and you should do what is comfortable to you.
Signing the Register
Be sure to add yourself to the register book, using your full name so that the family can identify you in the future. It's also helpful to add information about how you knew the deceased — through work, social clubs, school, etc.
Flowers and Gifts
Sending flowers, making a donation, or giving a memorial gift are all meaningful gestures to let the bereaved know that they are in your thoughts. Please check to see if the family has a preference.
Turn Off Your Cellphone
If you choose to bring your phone into the funeral home, take a moment to make sure you've turned it off, or, at the very least, on silent or vibrate.
Follow the Rules
Most cemeteries have a sign posted near the entrance listing rules specific to the property. Follow the rules and observe any floral regulations they might have set. Make sure to follow and obey the cemetery hours.
Respect the Grave
Don't touch any monuments or headstones; this is not only disrespectful, but may cause damage to the memorials — especially older ones. Never remove anything from a gravestone, such as flowers, coins, or tributes that have been left by a family.
Be Respectful of Services and Other Mourners
If a funeral is occurring, take care not to get in the way of processions. Respect their privacy and give them their space.
Speak Softly and Politely
Be respectful to other mourners. Remember to keep your voice down when having conversations. Make sure your cellphone is muted or turned off.
Look After Your Children
If you bring children, make sure to keep a close eye on them and keep them from running, yelling, and playing or climbing on graves and monuments.
Don't Leave Trash Behind
Use designated receptacles if they are provided, otherwise hang onto your trash and take it with you when you leave.